Encyclopedia Stupidica

The Human Body

Synonyms for womens’ breasts

- boobs - mammaries - breasticles - chesticles - hooties - knockers (why thank you doctor.) - the twins - breasteses - ho hos - jugs - ta tas - nay nays - the girls - boobies - titties - chi chis - gonzagas - nubbies - boobicles - mountainous peaks - naughty bits - headlights - floppily doppilys - jiggly bits - jubblies - mosquito bites - bee stings - melons - boulders - huge tracts of land - hooters - a rack - a shelf - aereolas - peaches - Man's Best Friend (or man's breast friend) - snowballs - titie tots - coconuts - mommy bags (Thank You MXC) - boo ba's - pancakes (older boobies) - Buhjangas - The very first happy meal you'll ever eat - hehehe - Lady Berries - Sweater Bunnies - Sweater Meat - Mazos (see below) - Pineapples - Bidness (how was that overlooked??) - Bags of sand

Synonyms for men's breasts

- moobs - Mannaries

  • A 63 year old widow was admitted to hospital in Recife, Brazil, suffering abdominal pains. X-rays showed that she was carrying a 20 inch long skeleton of a foetus which she conceived a decade earlier. It had become lodged outside the womb and was never expelled from her body.
  • Nystagmus is a muscular eye defect which afflicts every human alive (sorry dead guys, you're out). When watching aan item (like a pen for instance) cross back and forth the eyes will involuntarilly jerk back to straight forward. It will normally take about 3 minutes for the average person to start being affected, however an intoxicated person will show signs within about 5-10 seconds.
  • The average human body contains enough iron to make a nail.
  • Woman blink nearly twice as much as men.
  • They say the human body is 95% water, so I have to wonder if the first person to “mosh” was just so stoned that he figured he was 5% away from a pool.
  • The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing. (so there ou are all lefties!!)
  • Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.
  • Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks; otherwise it will digest itself.

Words are Funny

  • “Go,” is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
  • The word 'Bunk' as in nonsense, comes from a misspelling of Buncombe county, North Carolina. During a debate, Buncombe county Representative Felix Walker gave a long, boring, horribly pointless speech to prove he was “on the job for Buncombe.”
  • The word 'Amazon' comes from the roots a-“without” mazos-“breasts”, which is rather different from their depiction in modern film.
  • The word 'decimate' literally means: to reduce by a tenth
  • Racecar is still racecar if spelled backwards, as is poop and Hannah. Palindrome baby!
  • The longest one-syllable word in the English language is “screeched.”
  • “Dreamt” is the only English word that ends in the letters “mt”.
  • In Spanish, the word for good-bye (Adios) is actually derived from the phrase “Go with God” (A Dios). In Spain, certain Atheists refuse to say the word opting for the phrase “Hasta Luego” (until later).
  • Hello and Goodbye also have a relgious conotation and are meant to be use togehter (at the begining and end of converstation). Hell Below and God Be With You.
  • No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple. (Unless you're Roger Miller, who in fact did rhyme the word 'purple')
  • “Stewardesses” is the longest word typed with only the left hand and “lollipop” with your right.
  • There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: “abstemious” and “facetious.”
  • TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.
  • “Onomatopoeia” it the only native English word to end in 4 vowels.

Politics

Of the 535 members of Congress....

  • 29 have been accused of spousal abuse
  • 7 have been arrested for fraud
  • 19 have been accused of writing bad checks
  • 117 have directly/indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
  • 3 have done time for assault
  • 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
  • 14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
  • 8 have been arrested for shoplifting
  • 21 are currently defendants in lawsuits
  • 84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year

Misc (to be classified later)

  • You can start a fistfight at a physics conference by asking people if photons are particles.
  • Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.
  • Unsolicited email earned the name “spam” because it resembled a Monty Python skit where a chorus of Vikings drowned out other sounds by singing “spam, spam, spam.”
  • On average, 100 people choke to death on ball-point pens every year.
  • If Barbie were life-size, her measurements would be 39-23-33. She would stand seven feet, two inches tall.
  • Only 55 percent of all Americans know that the sun is a star.
  • During World War II, at the the battle for the city of Stalingrad, in Russia, the German army lost more men attacking a single house than it did occupying Paris, in France, three years before. (are we surprised?)
  • 160 cars can drive side by side on the Monumental Axis in Brazil, the world's widest road. UPDATE - this is not true. Upon closer examination the Monumental Axis is actually two seperate 6 lane avenues seperated by acres and acres of park land. Much like New York's central park.
  • DEAD BEEF = 3735928559
  • Starfish have no brains. (Technically neither do politicians, but we won't go there.)
  • The first “Tinman” in the Wizard of Oz fell ill of mercury poisoning from the makeup used and had to be replaced.
  • Frankenstein was the creator, not the monster. It's a common misconseption held by all truly stoopid people!
  • February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.
  • The name for Oz in the “Wizard of Oz” was thought up when the creator, Frank Baum, looked at his filing cabinet and saw A-N, and O-Z, hence “Oz.”
  • The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's “Its A Wonderful Life.”
  • The first toilet ever seen on television was on “Leave It To Beaver.”
  • FALSE - The first comercialy available “modern” toilet was produced by a man named Thomas Crapper. Hence the name “The Crapper”
    • Thomas Crapper was a real person, who operated a plumbing business in 19th century London, but he didn’t invent the flush toilet. This is credited, instead, to Joseph Adamson, who took out the first patent for a flush toilet in 1853. A 1969 book by Wallace Reyburn, Flushed with Pride: The Story of Thomas Crapper, has helped to propagate the myth that Crapper was the inventor of the toilet. Reyburn’s biography of Crapper is simply a fabrication.
  • The most effective way of stopping a burning-out-of-control crude oil well is to explode a fire-resistant container of dynamite (approximately 25-50 sticks) at its base.
  • Certain arangements of carbon atoms create a structure called a “Bucky Ball” which is hollow and very strongly resembles a soccer ball.
  • In christian art, the devil was originally depicted as blue, to symbolize his distance from the warmth of God. He was also purposely made to look like a Jew, which is where his bushy eyebrows and hooked nose come from.

Money

  • There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
  • A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
  • The Federal Reserve asked Adobe Systems, Inc. to code into their Photoshop program a failsafe that will not allow it to import scanned images of U.S. Currency (bills). When someone tries to scan in a dollar bill, for example, an error message comes up stating that it is against U.S. Law. This occurs regardless of how it is placed in the scanner.

Time

  • A “jiffy” is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
  • In most advertisements, including newspapers, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10. This makes the clock appear “happy”.
  • It was the accepted practice in Babylon, 4,000 years ago, that for a month after the wedding, the bride'sfather would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer, and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the “honey month” or what we know today as the “honeymoon.”
  • In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts. So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them to mind their own pints and quarts and settle down. It's where we get the phrase “mind your P's and Q's.”

Food

  • These are for you Chris (a.k.a. Banana Bigot ordinare')
  • Banana plants are the largest plants on earth without a woody stem.
  • Bananas are a good source of vitamin C, potassium and dietary fiber.
  • Bananas are available all year-round. They are harvested every day of the year.
  • Bananas are one of the few fruits that ripen best off the plant. If left on the plant, the fruit splits open and the pulp has a “cottony” texture and flavor.
  • Bananas have no fat, cholesterol or sodium.
  • In 2001, there were more than 300 banana-related accidents in Britain, most involving people slipping on skins.
  • In Eastern Africa you can buy banana beer
  • There are more than 500 varieties of banana in the world.
  • Almonds are a member of the peach family.
  • Strawberries are a member of the rose family and are the only fruit to bear it's seed on the outside.
  • The British navy was the first to start the practice of rationing limes to its sailors in order to prevent scurvy. Hence where Brits get the nickname 'limeys'.

MMMMM Chocolate!!

  • A 1.5 oz. milk chocolate bar has only 220 calories. A 1.75 oz. serving of potato chips has 230 calories.
  • American and Russian space flights have always included chocolate.
  • American chocolate manufacturers use about 1.5 billion pounds of milk – only surpassed by the cheese and ice cream industries.
  • Americans consumed over 3.1 billion pounds of chocolate in 2001, which is almost half of the total world's production.
  • Chocolate manufacturers currently use 40 percent of the world's almonds and 20 percent of the world's peanuts.
  • German chocolate cake did not originate in Germany. In 1852, Sam German developed a sweet baking bar for Baker's Chocolate Co. The product was named in honor of him – Baker's German's Sweet Chocolate.
  • One plain milk chocolate candy bar has more protein than a banana. (hehe, bananas!)
  • Per capita, the Irish eat more chocolate than Americans, Swedes, Danes, French, and Italians.
  • The botanical name of the chocolate plant is Theobramba cacao, which means “Food of the Gods.”
  • The melting point of cocoa butter is just below the human body temperature – which is why it literally melts in your mouth.
  • The average chocolate bar has 8 insect legs in it.

Sports

  • It takes 3,000 cows to supply the NFL with enough leather for a year's supply of footballs.
  • There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.

Music

  • Despite many “superstar releases” from artists from the 1980's through 2000's, the best-selling album of all-time in the U.S. is the Eagles' Their Greatest Hits, 1971–1975 which has been certified 29x Platium (over 29 Million copies sold). (One of only two albums certified as 'Diamond'. The other being Michael Jackson's Thriller.)
  • The band “Franz Ferdinand” is named after this man
  • The song Good Vibrations by the Beach Boys holds the distinction of being the only Billboard #1 song to incorporate a honky-tonk piano as well as the only #1 song to incorporate a Theremin (a.k.a. Woo Machine).
  • The Metallica song Don't Tread On Me has, in its intro, James Hetfield playing a clip from the song America from West Side Story.
  • Semper Fidelis, the popular John Phillip Sousa march, was originally written by Sousa as a slow ballad.
  • The intro to Silent Lucidity by Queensryche has an irregular time signature of 15/16.

Chuck Norris

  • Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
  • Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
  • Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.
  • Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month at a location know only as “The Meadows”.
  • Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.
  • Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
  • An anagram for Walker Texas Ranger is KARATE WRANGLER SEX. I don't know what that is, but it sounds AWESOME.
  • Hellen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris.
  • If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.
  • Chuck Norris does not “style” his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.
  • Chuck Norris did in fact, build Rome in a day.
  • Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.
  • If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
  • When Chuck Norris says “More cowbell”, he MEANS it.
  • Chuck Norris smells what the Rock is cooking… because the Rock is Chuck Norris' personal chef.
  • Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Neamont's List of Beyond Useless Trivia

  • If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
  • If you “break wind” consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (WOOT! ALMOST THERE!!)
  • Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (Is that why Flipper was always smiling?)
  • The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
  • An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
  • Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.
  • Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.
  • Barbie's full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.
  • Marilyn Monroe had six toes.
  • A duck's quack doesn't echo and no one knows why.
  • The average bed is home to over 6 billion dust mites.
  • Every drop of seawater contains approximately 1 billion gold atoms.
  • Men can breastfeed babies
  • A rat can last longer without water than a camel.
  • The Declaration of Independence (the very official copy in the Rotunda of the National Archives) is written on parchment, not paper.
  • The dot over the letter 'i' is called a tittle.
  • A raisin dropped in a fresh glass of soda will bounce up and down continually from the bottom of the glass to the top.
  • A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find a mate.
  • A 2×4 is actually 1-1/2” x 3-1/2” .
  • 40% of McDonald's profits come from the sales of Happy Meals.
  • Every person has a unique tongue print.
  • The 'spot' on 7UP comes from its inventor who had red eyes. He was an albino.
  • 315 entries in Webster's 1996 Dictionary were misspelled.
  • During the chariot scene in 'Ben Hur' a small red car can be seen in the distance.
  • On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily.
  • John Wilkes Booth's brother once saved the life of Abraham Lincoln's son. Irony.
  • Warren Beatty and Shirley MacLaine are brother and sister.
  • Chocolate kills dogs! Chocolate affects a dog's heart and nervous system. A few ounces is enough to kill a small sized dog. (Debated)
  • Daniel Boone detested coonskin caps.
  • Playing cards were issued to British pilots in WWII. If they were captured, the cards could be soaked in water and unfolded to reveal a map for escape.
  • Most lipstick contains fish scales. Yum.
  • Dr. Seuss actually pronounced Seuss such that it sounded like Sue-ice.
  • Ketchup was sold in the 1830s as medicine.
  • Leonardo da Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the other at the same time.
  • During the California Gold Rush of 1849 miners sent their laundry to Honolulu for washing and pressing. Due to the high costs in California during these years it was deemed more feasible to send the shirts to Hawaii for servicing.
  • American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first class.
  • The number of possible ways of playing the first four moves per side in a game of chess is 318,979,564,000.
  • Upper and lower case letters are named 'upper' and 'lower', because in the time when all original print had to be set in individual letters, the 'upper case' letters were stored in the case on top of the case that stored the smaller, 'lower case' letters. The proper term for upper case letters is “majuscule” and for lower case it's “minuscule”.
  • The printing industry gives us other popular phrases, such as “mind your 'p's and 'q's.” The moveable block type had the letters in reverse so they would read correctly when imprinted on paper. Apprentices had to remove the type from the pages and return the blocks to their upper and lower cases. Each drawer in the case held a different size of letters, and each drawer was divided into compartments (called sorts) for each letter. The letters 'p' and 'q' could easily be mistaken, so the master printer would advise their apprentices to mind their 'p's and 'q's. (This is debated.)
  • The question mark came from a monk habit of writing the Latin word for question, quo, at the end of sentences. Over time, the letters were written vertically to save space and morphed into the ? we write today. Similarly, the exclamation point came from the Latin word “Lo”, meaning something important that should be heeded. (Lo and behold…)
  • Wellfleet, Massachusetts has the only town clock in the world that strikes ship's time. (Rings every half hour, to a maximum of 8 rings at the end of each four hour period.)
  • The numbers '172' can be found on the back of the U.S. $5 dollar bill in the bushes at the base of the Lincoln Memorial.
  • The very first bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin during World War II killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo.
  • There are four cars and eleven lightposts on the back of a $10 dollar bill.
  • Scissors as we know them today (well, pretty much) were invented in Rome in about 100 AD.
  • If one places a tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion, it will instantly go mad and look like it is stinging itself to death. (Personally i'd like to try this)
  • Most scorpions will glow under black (ultraviolet) light.
  • Bruce Lee was so fast that they actually had to SLOW a film down so you could see his moves. That's the opposite of the norm.
  • Chuck Norris is so fast that they actually have to SLOW DOWN TIME just to film his moves so you can see them.
  • If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you have $1.19. You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.
  • The first CD pressed in the US was Bruce Springstein's 'Born in the USA.'
  • The mask used by Michael Myers in the original Halloween was actually a Captain Kirk mask painted white.
  • The first product Motorola developed was a record player for automobiles. At that time the most known player on the market was the Victrola, so they called themselves Motorola.
  • Roses MAY be red, but violets ARE violet.
  • By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you can't sink in quicksand. One should carry a stout pole while travelling in quicksand country…when placed under one's back, it helps one to float out of the quicksand.
  • Casey Kasem is the voice of Shaggy on Scooby-Doo.
  • Celery has negative calories! It takes more calories to digest a piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with. (Mmm, diet food.)
  • Charlie Chaplin once won third prize in a Charlie Chaplin look alike contest. (HA! the irony)
  • In Gulliver's Travels Jonathan Swift described the two moons of Mars, Phobos and Deimos, giving their exact size and speeds of rotation. He did this more than one hundred years before either moon was discovered.
  • Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying!
  • An old law in Bellingham, Wash., made it illegal for a woman to take more than 3 steps backwards while dancing. (WTF?!)
  • Birds have the right of way on all Utah highways. (HA!)
  • Sharon Stone was the first Star Search spokesmodel.
  • The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher.
  • The Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from public libraries.
  • Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans before they go into space because passing wind in a spacesuit will damage it.
  • The number one selling CD in history is the third Beatles anthology. It recently beat out the Eagles' “Their Greatest Hits.”
  • Bats always turn left when exiting a cave.
  • If you drop a penny off of the Empire State Building, it will be going 106 miles per hour (terminal velocity) when it reaches the ground. Something moving this fast may actually cause head injuries if it lands on you.
  • The original Winnie the Pooh was a real live bear found outside of Winnipeg, Canada, hence the name Winnie. (Where did he get the shirt from?)
  • Francis Bacon died in his attempt to find a better way to serve food. He caught a case of pneumonia while attempting to stuff a chicken with snow. Ironically, the chicken survived the ordeal.
  • Dachshunds were originally bred in 1600 to hunt dachs, which is German for badgers. (1600 must have been a slow year.)
  • Houdini's real name was Ehrich Weiss.
  • The first zoo in America was in Philadelphia.
  • Laser is actually an acronym for “Light Amplification by Stimulated Emissions of Radiation.”
  • The world's first passenger train made its debut in England in 1825.
  • Napoleon suffered from ailurophobia, which is a fear of cats.
  • Escalator is one of many words that were originally trademarks but have become ordinary words found in dictionaries. Some other words which were originally trademarks and have now passed into common use are aspirin, autoharp, band-aids, breathalyzer, cellophane, Coke (in some areas, at least), corn flakes, cube steak, ditto, dry ice, dumpster, formica, Frisbee, granola, gunk, jeep, kerosene, kleenex, mace, nylon, ping-pong, popsicle, Q-tip, rollerblade, rolodex, scotch tape, sheetrock, spandex, styrofoam, tabloid, thermos, trampoline, yo-yo, xerox, and zipper.
  • Mosquito repellents don't repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the mosquito's sensors so they don't know you're there. Also, the powder on the bark of a quaking aspen tree works as a mosquito repellent.

Acronyms

  • The Small Computer System Interface or SCSI (pronounced “scuzzy”) is the first ANSI standard wherein the footnotes there is a key for its pronunciation. This only occured after some of the developing engineers pronounced it as “sexy”.
  • MODEM and CODEC are not acronyms but examples of where engineers just got lazy. :) Modem stands for Modulator/Demodulator and Codec stands for Coder/Decoder.
  • WINE and GNU (as in the GNU Public License) are examples of recursive acronyms: WINE is a shell used in Linux to imitate (not emulate) Windows-based programs. WINE stands for Wine Is Not an Emulator. GNU stands for GNU is Not Unix.
  • FOO is popularly used in object-oriented programming is rumored to stand for File Or Object. The subsequent BAR object is not an acronym, but is considered to be related to the acronym “fubar”.
  • LART or the Local-user (or Luser) Attitude Readjustment Tool is something to be feared by those who irritate IT support and Sysadmins. While the tool itself has no specifications nor form, it typically is a large, heavy object that is able to be wielded with ease toward a user with the intent to inflict bodily harm in hopes of changing the attitude of or disciplining said user.
  • JAVA stands for “Just Another Vague Acronym”
  • LARP is the best acronym ever. Those of you who don't know what it stands for put on a vampire costume and meet me at north park.

Deep Thoughts for Those Who Take Life Way Too Seriously

  1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
  2. A day without sunshine is like….night.
  3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
  4. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
  5. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
  6. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
  7. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
  8. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
  9. How many of you believe in psycho kinesis?…Raise my hand.
  10. OK…so what's the speed of dark?
  11. When everything is coming your way, you're ! in the wrong lane.
  12. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
  13. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges.
  14. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
  15. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

–Shane

 
start/stupidica.txt · Last modified: 2010/01/05 09:41 by codeweaver
 
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